Try to understand your children's needs and listen to their point of view | Nada Al-Ahdal
We always hear our parents complaining about us as teenage boys and girls, and how hard they find it to deal with us.
They say things like:
“This age is very difficult to deal with”
“Nothing satisfies them”
“They complain that we don't understand them”
“To them we have become stubborn and difficult”
And other complaints and phrases that show how deep the gap between us and them is.
Well, where are we now? Who listens to us, and who carries our point of view to our parents?
What do you think: in this space, while we are teenagers, shall we speak to our parents and try to tell them about ourselves?
Why don't we give them the chance to understand more, so that we grow closer to each other and make things easier for them and for us?
(Dialogue)
Our wonderful parents, we'll tell you the magic word that will make living together easier: dialogue.
That's right, dialogue. Don't forget it. We are not children any more. And it's true that we are not mature enough yet; we are in a transition from childhood to what comes after childhood, and we need your care, your attention and your advice too.
Don't forget that our past is a child's past, our present is new, and our future is still unknown. We need you to listen to us, not just give us orders. Discuss things with us. Try to persuade us.
Another message to the boys and girls of my generation, and to my peers: we too have an active role in persuading our parents through dialogue and discussion. It's no good calling them ignorant or dictators all the time.
(Time)
Our dear parents, so close to our hearts, please give us some of your time, even a little.
We know that you get tired at work and tired with the burdens of the home, but at this stage we need to feel that you are close to us.
As a teenage girl, whenever I feel that my parents are far from my problems, my thoughts and the worries of my generation, I think of drifting away from them. So don't hold back your presence from us, and don't let us fly far away from you.
(Respect)
Dad and Mum, and whoever takes your place in raising us and caring for us, don't forget that my mind has begun to mature, and my body too.
Well, what does that mean?
It means I need to feel that you respect me, that I am different from you, and that you respect my opinions and everything I like and don't like.
The truth is that your mockery hurts me a lot, and your raised voices make me prefer my friends and my room to you and your company
(Trust)
What do you think, parents, about giving us some trust? We are your children who suddenly grew up before your eyes: neither have you taken in what happened and how it happened, nor have we fully taken in what is happening inside us.
Your violence destroys our self-confidence, whether through constant beating, criticism, or even doubting our abilities at school. Let us feel the strength of your trust in us. Talk to us about the good qualities in us, instead of focusing on some things you see as wrong.
(Let's try together)
Now I feel relieved that I have passed on some of my generation's thoughts to parents.
In the end, I am one of the people who paid the price of a wrong relationship between parents and their children, and I have learned a lot from my experience and my suffering.
I never doubt our parents' love for us, but sound behaviour on their part is the key to a good relationship with us.
They must try.
And we must try too.
May God help us get through adolescence safe and sound!!
So, are you ready to work together?
