Often times I donate my time to work with single-parents that are struggling with their finances. As we are going over their budget form, I notice that their income section doesn’t include child support. Child support is “A payment that a noncustodial parent makes as a contribution to the costs of raising her or his child,” as interpreted by FreeDictionary.com. So if “child support” is for the upbringing and the welfare of the child, why are some parents not applying for it or getting it for their children?
One of the single-parents I was helping answered my question. This is what she told me, “When David and I got married we didn’t talk about how we were going to raise our children. We were just so in love, so after a year of dating we were getting married. I was 26 and he was 28. Our first child was born a year later and the second child came a year after that. We both had good paying jobs and I returned back to work when my maternity leave was over. Our relationship starting to deteriorate in our fifth year of marriage and before I knew it he was moving out. I was hoping we would be back together so I kept up with the same lifestyle we always had. In the beginning he was contributing financially for most of the kids need. But after about four months, things changed and he was doing less and less. I was so upset that I told him a divorce is what I wanted and he could just leave me and the kids alone.”
I truly understand the emotional aspects of her story. Going through a divorce can be such a painful experience, but in this situation one should have counsel, especially when it comes to making long-term financial decisions pertaining to our children. Child support is an important financial contribution that can make a world of difference while going through such a transition and it is not a negative statement about one’s character. Losing the support of a partner’s income could make a difference for your children in so many ways and if by chance you do not need the money for their day-to-day expenses, think about the cost of extra curriculum activities, vacations, and college.
Overall this money should be used to maintain the stability and well-being of your child. Make sure to put them first when you are making decisions about applying or not applying for child support payments.
