MOVING FORWARD AFTER DIVORCE
Meaning of Divorce :
According to Wikipedia, divorce (or the dissolution of marriage ) is the termination of a marginal union, the cancellation and / or reorganization of the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage, thus dissolving the bonds of matrimony between married married couple under the rule of law of the particular country and / or state.
Some people get divorced hoping to make their life better, while others want to remain married but can not make their spouse stay. Yet, almost all who divorce find that life afterwards is harder than they expect. In fact, if you have recently divorced, you may find it to be one of the most stressful events you will ever face in life. Divorce is not something one should be praying to experience, there it is expedient for one (victim) to follow some practical advice from those who had experienced it.
SOME CHALLENGES FACED BY THE VICTIMS OF DIVORCE
a. Negative Feelings : stress related to money problems, parenting, and loneliness can be overwhelming. These feelings do not always go away quickly.
REMEDY:
1. Grieve but a little over what was lost.
2. Avoid isolating yourself.
3. Care for your health.
4. Remove things that rekindle anger toward your ex-spouse; things that remind you about him / her.
5. Be resilient against negative feelings that could lead to something bad such as committing suicide.
6. Let hurtful comment go.
7. Pray to God.
8. For those that have children before the traumatic occurrence, help them to adjust to the present situation of a single parent. One important caution is not to try to scandalize the image of your ex-spouse before your children.
b. Your relationship with your former Spouse : Many who gets divorced remained intensely angry with their ex-mate for years. Yet they are forced to communicate regularly, especially if they have children.
REMEDY:
1. Maintain a civil relationship with your former spouse.
2. Avoid inflammatory spikes.
3. Separate your concerns from those of your former spouse.
QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF
1. Have I really allowed myself to grieve over the divorce?
2. How can I let go of any resentment I still have toward my ex-spouse?
SINGLE PARENT SUCCESS
Top Challenge
Being a single parent is the most challenging thing in the life of the victims. Others may say it not. That's simply because they are not faced with such menace or has not been closed to people who are victims. For instance, it takes time to instill discipline in a child and still have the opportunity to do other things. For those that has been able to succeed, they will have to pay the sacrifice of forfeiting their relaxation time to do the business of chastising the child.
Maintain Good Communication with a Child
Children, generally feel angry and unprotected after a divorce. To make the child forget the sad incident, you have key roles to play as a single parent. You can now start taking him out for relaxation if you have not been doing so. During discussion, ask for his opinion and make him feel relevant in every discussion. When he is back from school, show concern in his academies and even commend him for his performance. On the other hand, never forget discipline, because if you over pamper him the whole process will go wrong in no distant time. At first, you can start by using the words of mouth but when it continues, you can now introduce the rod. When chastising him, make him to realize that what he has done is what beating him and that is why you flogged him. I believe that when you continue in this, your child will grow to become a responsible individual in the society.
Source by Edgar Ogba
